I'm Ready To Believe
by y0ungalaska
Summary: She needed to move, she needed to stand up and face the woman who was, quite possibly, about to walk out of her apartment and never look back. One chance.


**Title: I'm Ready To Believe**

**Author: Alaska**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: ****The show and the characters are not mine.**

**A/N: So, I watched last week's ep. Let's just say, it spurred this muse inside of me. So I decided to write this. Now, warning, it does have an open-ending. Don't know if I'll continue it or not. But I wanted to post it. Hope you enjoy!**

**I'm Ready To Believe**

**(All The World, I Tell Myself)**

"_Let Me Feel Everything_

_Let Me Feel You_

_In My Own Paradox_

_I'd Give Anything And Everything..."_

* * *

><p>"Hey," Jane spoke as she made her way into Maura's apartment. The two had decided to have dinner in for the night, opting to pass on yet another night at the Dirty Robber. It wasn't that the two didn't want to hang, well, Maura had decided to stay home and with the look she'd given Jane, the brunette just couldn't say no. "I brought wine."<p>

Maura smiled at her friend as she prepared the side salad for their dinner. She didn't want to seem too excited over the fact that Jane had actually chose to have a quiet, personal dinner with her over a night with the guys, but it was difficult to hold her excitement in.

"Great." Maura pointed with knife in hand. "Place it over there?"

"Yeah, sure thing." Jane agreed as she did so and then shrugged out of her coat and placed it on the rack by the door. "So, what's for dinner, Doc?"

The blonde watched as the Detective made her way up to the island and took a seat. The smile that crept over her features couldn't be held back. "Pasta. And Salad. I hope that's all right."

"Are you kidding me? Pasta sounds so much better than bar peanuts and four dollar beers." Jane chucked as she reached over to pick up a sliced carrot only to have her hand swatted away.

"Patience, Jane."

"So, did you find out anymore about the John Doe?" Jane threw over her shoulder as she reached into the fridge and grabbed a cold beer. She had to admit the fact that Maura kept beer in her fridge just for her made her smile. The M.E. was always thinking of her, no matter what.

"Not really, no. There were a few incisions along his neckline and scratches along his back, but the initial hypothesis was inconclusive. We'll have to wait for the tests to return."

"In other words, you don't feel comfortable making an "educated guess" even with all of your doctor knowledge." Jane grinned as she brought the bottle to her lips and tilted it upward.

"Yes, Jane. That would be correct." Maura grinned at the way Jane would always tease her for her inability to guess. It wasn't that she couldn't, she simply didn't feel comfortable doing so. And she didn't want to be wrong. It was easier to wait for her suspicions to be confirmed than to guess and be wrong.

"Mind if I turn on the game?" Jane asked. She knew that they were going to be eating soon and that Maura wasn't really into sports, but she wanted to at least check the score. It was always polite to ask, no matter how comfortable she felt in Maura's house.

"Of course. Dinner will be ready shortly." The blonde answered without looking up from her task of cutting the onions.

The M.E. watched as Jane made her way over to the couch, getting comfortable, before clicking on the television and turning to the game. She wasn't one for sports, but for Jane she would do basically anything to see the woman smile. After the entire fiasco with Tommy and him being the main suspect in a slew of bank robberies, a realization seemed to hit the woman in the face like a ton of bricks. Kind of like those old cartoons… with the anvils? It was sort of like that.

Maura chuckled at her own thought before resting her eyes on the woman again.

She allowed her eyes to rake over the woman and though she could only see certain parts of her, she could imagine the look on her face when some play happened and Jane threw her hands up, yelling about how the ref's were making bullshit calls. The thought alone made her smile and she, for a moment, could actually see this being a normal, every day thing. She could picture Jane coming home from work, herself in the kitchen making dinner and Jane sitting down to watch the game until dinner was ready and she would pay Maura complete attention for the rest of the night…

_Was it hot in there?_

Maura fanned herself before lightly mixing the salad and placing the bowl to the side. Her mind wandered back to how easy it would be to be with Jane. Yes, she'd actually admitted it to herself. She wanted to be with Jane Rizzoli. The moment Jane stalked into her bubble, confronting her about keeping the information about Tommy a secret; the look in her eyes, full of hurt and betrayal is when Maura had come to the conclusion that although she was hurt, it wasn't just because she had been a horrible friend. She'd almost been reduced to tears at the sight of pain that shone through the brunette's eyes.

She had felt something more than just friendship.

When the two had made up and had grilled cheese sandwiches that night, which only Jane could talk her into, Maura contemplated telling Jane the whole truth, but she freaked out, needing time to think and just settled for, '_I like Tommy, but I love you_.'

It was the closest she could bring herself to admitting her true feelings without bursting into tears and confessing her love for the Detective. And for a moment, after those words were spoken, she could have sworn she'd seen the same feeling flicker behind Jane's eyes, too, but she figured she was just hallucinating and wishing for something she could never have.

Or could she?

That single thought had plagued her for the last two weeks and she'd been a little distant, but not enough to be noticeable. Or so she thought until Jane asked her if everything was all right and she had to bite her lip in order to keep her emotions in check. She'd felt like a love-struck teenager, but that was okay, because she was love-struck. And when she allowed herself time to think it over, she realized that it wasn't a bad thing at all. She and Jane could work.

If only Jane felt the same.

"Jane," Maura called as she shook herself of the thoughts and pulled the lasagna out of the oven, "dinner's ready."

Jane made her way to the table and took a seat across from Maura. She smiled shyly at the M.E. before speaking. "Wow, Maur, this looks incredible."

"Thank you." Maura couldn't help but fall into the fantasy that this was more than it really was. It was kind of hard not to when Jane would smile at her like that. And even though Maura was initially one to stay in the present and focus on the facts, it happened a lot.

The two fell into silence as they ate their meals, both respectively lost in their own worlds. The silence turned into small talk, an almost empty bottle of wine sat chilling between them. After the two were finished with their dinner, plates were pushed aside as alcohol took over.

"So," Maura said in a voice that seemed completely foreign to her.

"So," Jane repeated in that low, raspy voice that only she could master. Maura had deemed that her bedroom voice and before long, her mind wandered to the idea of what Jane actually sounded like in the bedroom.

Jane watched as the blonde lost herself in thought and a blush crept up her cheeks. "Good thoughts?" She asked with a smile.

Maura blinked as she was brought back into the present. Clearing her throat, she picked up her wine glass, "You could say that." She said with a coy smile.

Was she flirting? It was the wine, she assured herself as she brought the glass to her lips.

Jane sat for a moment, watching the woman across from her. Maura held so much beauty, that was no secret, but in that moment, she'd seen the essence of Maura's beauty. She watched the simple way the woman sipped her wine casually, running her tongue across the inside of the glass and then, running her tongue across her lips.

She didn't mean to stare, she knew it was rude, but for some reason she couldn't find a reason to avert her eyes. She heard Maura clear her throat. She knew it was because she'd been caught, but Jane simply didn't care.

After the incident with Tommy, the fight they had, the brunette racked her brain as to why she was so hurt. Frost had found out, too. And although he hadn't known as long as Maura, she didn't take it out on him at all. But Maura? She was livid about the fact that Maura had kept something like that from her, promises or not. She had chalked it up to friendship, to believing that Maura didn't trust her enough to protect her, but the more she thought about it the more she realized that it wasn't just that. It wasn't just because she was a friend who had lied to her.

She was falling for Maura Isles. Quirky, '_I can't tell a joke to save my life_', Maura Isles. And she was falling hard.

But she couldn't quite tell the M.E. that because, come on, they were both straight and her brother had just tried to kiss her. That fact alone both made Jane angry and completely grossed out. When Maura had told her, her first initial feeling was of complete shock, but she quickly tried to mask that with the anger she'd been feeling. Maura, as far as she'd known, hadn't caught on.

And then they ended up back at Maura's and she had made them grilled cheese sandwiches, they'd opened and tasted a bottle of wine that tasted like the bottom of the Boston Harbor, and they'd spent the night drinking beers and just enjoying one another's company. Jane had felt it. She felt it when she was angry and yelling, she felt it that night, and she most certainly felt it now.

"You're beautiful, Maur." Jane almost whispered as she leaned across the table to take the other woman's hand in her own. Maybe it was the beer. Or maybe it was the fact that she was tired of being afraid, tired of running. Either way, she'd said it and she wouldn't take it back if God stood before her and offered her a do-over.

Maura's eyes shot up and were immediately met with soft brown orbs looking directly at her. If she were to be honest, those eyes were more than looking at her, they were looking into her. She cleared her throat, unsure as to whether she'd heard her friend correctly or not.

"I…" the blonde stumbled over her sentence, "Jane, are you alright?"

Jane blinked a few times before withdrawing her hand and sitting back in her seat. Maybe it was all one-sided. Maybe all of the looks and the smiles and the flirting that had happened over the last two weeks were all a figment of her imagination. Maybe Maura didn't feel the same.

Suddenly, she was nervous. She could feel her hands beginning to shake and the panic setting in. She glanced quickly at the woman across from her.

"I'm sorry, Maur." Jane spoke as she pushed her chair back from the table and rose to her feet. "I should… I should go." She rushed as she hurriedly found her shoes and made her way over to the coat rack.

Maura sat, stoic, watching as Jane moved in fast forward. She couldn't bring herself to speak. She was in shock and as her brain told her to move, her body sat still in the chair, looking straight ahead.

_This was happening_.

This was happening and it was happening now. '_Maura, pull yourself together!_' she internally yelled at herself. She needed to move, she needed to stand up and face the woman who was, quite possibly, about to walk out of her apartment and never look back. One chance.

Pushing her chair back with so much force that she almost face-planted into the table, Maura regained her balance in just enough time to watch Jane fling the door open. "Jane!" she called out through strangled breaths as she moved toward the woman, but Jane refused to turn around.

"Jane, wait!" She called out again, her voice stronger than the last time, but still the words choked her. Taking a few steps, she made her way over to the woman and placed an arm on her bicep. The feeling, even through the thick of Jane's jacket, was almost enough to knock Maura on her ass. "Please," was the whispered plea that sat between the two of them.

Jane stopped, but failed to turn around. Something about the way Maura was pleading with her, leaving herself so bare, so open, she couldn't walk out on her, no matter how bad the voice in her head was telling her to keep going.

"You've been drinking." Maura spoke the first thing that came to her mind.

"I'll be fine." The brunette answered back.

"Jane, don't go."

Three words. Three words broke her and held her together all at the same time. Three words made her want to run for the hills, yet kept her rooted in the spot she stood. She'd been ready for this. She'd been waiting for this, but when she realized it could possibly turn out all wrong, she wanted to bypass the entire moment, for the sake of saving her heart. Jane Rizzoli wasn't the biggest romantic in the world, but when she loved, she loved hard and hearing Maura tell her that she understood, but didn't feel the same would surely break her. It would completely break her.

"I can't," Jane began but found herself having to clear her throat, emotions thickening, "It's okay. I get it. You don't have to explain yourself. I shouldn't have done that…or said that. God, I don't know what I was thinking." She exclaimed as she ran a shaky hand through her hair.

The blonde felt her mouth part slightly, somewhat in disbelief. Did this woman really not see it? Was Jane Rizzoli so blind that she couldn't see that Maura was feeling the same? They were in the same boat? Inhaling deeply, Maura pulled on Jane's arm, silently asking her to turn around. When Jane refused to move, she pulled harder and when that didn't work, she took her other hand, placed it on the brunette's shoulders and forced her to turn around.

When their eyes met, Maura could feel the emotions racing between them. The look in Jane's eyes was almost enough to break her. She saw the fear, the trepidation that lie beneath chocolate irises and it brought a pain to her chest that almost took her breath away.

"Jane, I need you to listen to me." She spoke without breaking eye contact. When the Detective tried to look away, Maura all but ordered her to look at her. "Look at me." With reluctance, Jane turned her attention back to the shorter woman and when she did, Maura continued. "You were thinking something back there, correct?" Jane nodded slowly. "Tell me."

Jane tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, her eyes filled with compassion. "Tell me." Maura asked again, her voice holding a hint of softness.

"I…" Jane watched as Maura's features softened and she found herself looking into those beautiful eyes; her anchors. No matter what she'd been through, one look from Maura would tell her that everything was going to be okay. With her eyes, she comforted Jane, she challenged her, and as the realization hit her, she inhaled sharply. This woman loved her.

Maura was the first to break eye contact. Those brown eyes, they were drowning her, yet holding her afloat all at the same time. She took a step forward, placing a hand over the spot where the taller woman's heart lay and leaned against her chest. She could feel the rhythm of her heart speed up beneath her palm. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the scent of Jane, she reveled in the feel of their bodies being so close to one another. Her own heart felt as though it would beat straight out of her chest. She felt the pull, she felt the connection, she felt the tiny sparks of electricity that moved throughout her entire body at the simple gesture.

Jane froze for a second, not knowing whether she should stand completely still or wrap her arms around the shorter woman. She closed her eyes and took in a ragged breath when she felt a hand place itself over her heart. She knew her heart rate had sped up immediately thereafter and she was pretty certain that Maura had felt it, too. But when the blonde moved in and placed her head upon Jane's chest, the Detective couldn't stop the emotions that burst out of her. Her eyes immediately filled with unshed tears that she tried so desperately to blink away. She felt so overwhelmed with emotion that she was sure her heart was going to burst and she'd die before she even got the chance to speak. She could feel Maura's breath against her chest, she could smell the faint aroma of wine that surrounded her mixed with vanilla and honey. She could feel it, she was losing herself to this woman.

Jane reached up, with shaky arms, and slowly placed them around Maura's waist. The fit was perfect. So perfect in fact, that she found herself leaning into the shorter woman and burying her face in blonde locks. They stayed that way, together, for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of being in each other's arms.

"Jane…" Maura breathed out, enjoying the way the taller woman's name rolled off her lips, feeling the way their bodies molded together like some sort of missing puzzle piece that, until tonight, neither one realized they were missing.

"I love you." Jane breathed into blonde locks. It was the only thing she could think to say, the only thing that truly made sense in the moment. No words were perfect enough, no explanation was needed. And as she felt Maura's body shudder within her grasp, she pulled her closer, held her tighter, and allowed tears to finally fall.


End file.
